Make a cool Elden Ring trailer to win a 10ft statue of Messmer the Impaler that will be a nightmare to dust

You know what will really set off your soft furnishings and put further strain on your relationship when you're already worried your girlfriend is more angry about you leaving crumbs around the toaster than she would be if all were well? A 10-foot-tall statue of a video game character to cram in the corner of your living room! To celebrate the impending release of massive gloomy RPG DLC Elden Ring: Shadow Of The Erdtree, Bamco are running a competition for players to edit together a cool trailer. Best trailer overall wins Big Messmer - the lad in the header image up there. I'm sure he'll make a great home for many happy spiders and their cobwebs.

The competition (h/t to PCGamer), which runs from now until June 2nd, is only open to residents of the US who are over 18. Full terms and conditions here. Your trailer can be no more than five minutes long, and can use assets provided by Bamco as well as your own capture. Note well that you can only make one (1) entry.

Fortunately there's only one Messmer statue to give away, but a life sized arm of Malenia is on offer for "Best Narrative", "Best Action", and "Best Direction", while the four awarded "Best Comedy", "Best Use Of Sound", "Best Armor Design" and "Most Original Use Of Elden Ring" will get Messmer's helmet. So, they're smaller, but they'll still take up at least a whole coffee table, right? For some context on the Messmer statue, 10 feet is about the same height as a basketball hoop, or the height of the ceiling in a standard room. It's the tat to end all tat, fellas. And, if it falls over, it's potentially the tat to end you as well.

The competition rules also set out how the entries will be judged, i.e. they are scored out of 10 on different metrics, 10 being a perfect score. One of them is "How clearly does the Entry demonstrate combat skill and visually interesting action" so better GIT GUD, SCRUBS. This list helpfully revealed to me that Most Original Use Of Elden Ring is awarded to the entry with the highest Innovation score: "How creative, original or innovative is the Entry?". So. That's made that nice and clear, hasn't it?

Better get going if you want that huge statue, gang. You've got until June 2nd. But I know we're all thinking the same thing: Bamco are cowards.